Golf Day 2010

Summary of the Day

The only day that it rained during the golf day week was Saturday the 20th of March, the golf day itself. Bloody typical! And boy, did it rain! It could have rained any other day of the week, any other day of the whole god damn year, but no, the exact day that had been chosen for the inaugural Old Crossleyans Golf Day, it was verging on monsoon season in the Serengeti.  

The Old Crocs turned up in their droves, all 23 of us (well, actually 19 of us and four ringers) We turned up, half of us looking like golfers who had just stepped off the Augusta driving range ready for a monumental battle royale, half of us looking like a set of Halifax league cricketers, where the tedious and repetitive actions of putting a small white ball in a distant hole 18 times, with nothing more than a metal stick, was just a hindrance getting in the way of a piss up around Halifax, and the inevitable curry at Zeddy's place.  

Bacon sandwiches and coffees were great, with the precise highlight of the club house being a stunning Polish waitress, who went in and out at exactly the right places. If you had the option, you would kill your pet dog, just to get to know the precise details of her in and out places, but that’s beside the point. The temptation to completely sack off the golf, buy a few sherbets, get a bit more acquainted with your made up polish accent and end up making a complete arse-ski of yourself never crossed any ones mind, I'm sure!!  

After the unexpected free driving range balls, and a chance to check out the opposition, the groups set off. Some of the more rounder groups had hired out buggies. (Sorry Tim Freeman, Paul Reynolds, Andy Thomas, Dave Bell, James Robinson). The first tee was down a winding path, through pleasant woodland and past an immaculately kept practice green. The path today though, had been heavily disguised as a raging torrent of flood-water which would sweep away all novice golfers who dare step into its swirling currents. It was then we realised that hiring out a R.N.L.I. lifeboat would have been by far the better option given the amount water being blown about by the newly introduced force 10 gales. Brilliant!  

The groups set off nevertheless, and started the inaugural Old Crossleyans Golf Tournament. I'm sure there were plenty of good laughs, stories and memorable events going on around the course, and hope that these will carry on into the future with the continuation of the tournament. Steve Dixon driving the green on the sixth, over the water and landing in between the truffler’s feet must have been a spectacle. Just 6 inches left or right, and the 2nd's would need a new opening bowler for the foreseeable future. Matthew Browes chipping in from off the green sounds a fantastic effort. After further investigation, Matthew hit the ball a bit too hard (it must be all the steroids Matthew) it hit the flag pole half way up, thank god, and dropped in the hole. If it wasn’t for the flag pole, a small boy in central Africa would have a new golf ball to play with. James Robinson (My mate from Sheffield) playing the ball from a deep puddle on the 4th. As if he wasn't wet enough, the amount of water that splashed up in tidal wave fashion would have had life time surfers vacating their Hawaiian paradise just to ride this once in a life time monster wave. Jeff on the 17th, taking 7 shots to get about 100 yards was nothing short of miraculous. Jurgen, Cheesey and myself were on the tee at this point. Its amazing how a good prolonged burst of laughter at someone else’s expense can warm you to your deepest core no matter how cold and wet you are!  

Anyway, enough of my ramblings. I hope all who took part had a great day regardless of the weather. Cheesey won the whole thing, and one day soon may eventually get his trophy. Steve Dixon won the 'nearest the pin' on the 7th, and Tim Freeman won the longest drive.  

Total monies raised by playing members was £46. We hopefully can claim back the VAT from the receipt and so this will be around £100 in total. Just enough money to pay the club fines for Eric's on field fighting, Jeff's repetitive sledging and the courier sheets not being sent in on time. All worth while!!  

Dan Broadbent

Results